We are amidst a tiresome spell of dreary winter weather, here in New Hampshire.  A “blocking pattern” has us stuck in a spell of persistent cold.  It would be easy to get depressed.  I often look about our frozen wasteland and think how far we have fallen from the Garden of Eden, and also think that anyone who isn’t depressed is denying reality and has serious problems.

            The trick to surviving in Northern lands involves using the second greatest gift God gave to man.  The greatest gift is Love, without which people wither and die on a regular basis, but the next best gift is humor. Just as Love is a mystery, it is a mystery to me how people can laugh when winter gets old, and its novelty is long gone.

            Every wintery morning, at my Childcare, I do my best to be cheerful amidst the break-up of a family. The mother or father must go onwards to slave at a job, leaving the loved one behind.

Goodbyes are seldom happy, but the parting of a parent and child are particularly anguishing to witness, because there is something very unnatural about it. It is very Un-American, when you think of how the Family Farm built America, and of how, on a Family Farm, neither the mother nor father ever went away to work.  However, for the time being, we are stuck with our “modern” situation, (until we can figure out how to allow mothers and fathers to work at home more.)  So my days start with a grievous situation, with children who are not ashamed to express their grief, and with parents who always look guilty.  (When the parents do a great job, and help the child adjust so well that the child rushes off to play without tears, then it is the parents who look a bit forlorn, and forgotten.)

In other words, a morning, which should be the optimistic springboard to a new day, becomes mourning.

Fortunately the sun is peeking over the hill a little earlier, with each passing day, and a ray of hope is just starting to beam upon our gloomy scene, or that was the case until some idiot in Washington decided to snuff out the sunbeam, and plunge the scene back into midwinter darkness. 

I am referring, of course, to the idiot who decided clocks should “spring ahead” not in April, but in March. 

The entire idea of “Daylight Savings Time” was stupid to begin with, because the chickens lay eggs, and the rooster crows, and the goats expect to be milked, and the dog and cat want to be fed, all at “Standard Time,” and, in fact, the only creatures in all of creation expected to be deranged by Washington’s dumb idea are: Humans.

It is the worst possible time to stress people, and rob them of an hour of sleep. By March, in the north, creatures are at their weakest.  The coyote lopes lean and savage, and now dares desperate deeds in the centers of towns.  The deer are gaunt.  Even the hibernating bear and woodchuck are growing thin and fat-free, in their dark dens.  In the warm stables the barnyard animals are tired and crabby and are far more prone to fall ill. And people are living creatures as well. By March they need any break they can get.

I have listened to the rational for Daylight Savings Time, pretending to smile, and nodding as if interested, but to me the time-change just seems a typical bit of Washington humbug.  They are always going on about how helpful it is to rob people, but they don’t dare do it when people are strong and hale.  It is only when people are at their weakest, after surviving a long winter, that they dare rob people of an hour of sleep, with Daylight Savings Time, (and also rob people of the little money they have left, with taxes.)

Washington just adds to the misery that is March. Their insensitivity is especially annoying because people are a bit broker this year, because some Washington fool decided fossil fuel was evil and we’d all be better off if it cost us more, because…because…um…well, it has something to do with the world getting nice and warm, if we use fossil fuels.

Global Warming sounds very comfy, in March in New Hampshire, especially when people can’t turn up the heat because heating costs are up. Therefore, when the blocking pattern sets in, and the wind will not budge from the cold north, the last thing people want to hear is that the planet is getting colder.

Well, it is.  The entire idea of Global Warming was and is bunkum, and an amazing fraud.  It was nothing more than an attempt on the part of fat cats in Washington to rob you, so they might have more money to play with, and even more amazing is the fact they (so far) have succeeded. They are, in essence, now taxing people for the warmth in their homes, at the very time the planet chills.

The first graph above shows that the average temperature, at the surface of the earth, dropped from a half degree above “normal” to two tenths of a degree above “normal,” between last January and last February.

If you have a shred of common sense, you should be inclined to respond to that news by muttering, “Big deal.”  After all, what is three tenths of a degree?  If your normal temperature is 98.6, and you take your temperature and see it is 98.9, are you hugely alarmed?

It is not the weather-wise farmers like me who are getting hysterical about a few tenths of a degree.  Rather it is those who want to sell Carbon Credits, which is why they are called “Alarmists.”  Their entire livelihood depends on you buying into the idea “The planet has a fever.”  In the movie, “The Inconvenient Truth,” Al Gore had to use the prop of a wicked big erector-machine to lift him and his pointing stick, beside a huge, blown-up version of Michael Mann’s (debunked) “Hockey Stick” graph, in order to make a big deal about…. a few tenths of a degree.

Well, if they are going to play by those rules, an old farmer like me can play along, and point out the planet cooled by three tenths of a degree in only thirty days.  Horrors! The sky is falling! 

Next I should draw a scientific-seeming “trend line,” extending the three-tenths-of-a-degree-per-month drop, month after month into the future, and then screech the imaginary line I have drawn proves we’ll all be frozen solid at “the end of this century.” I mean, if Alarmists can panic about a forecast for a day in the year 2099 which even my grandchildren are unlikely to live long enough to see, then so can I.

However I only play along because I have a sense of humor.  In actual fact, when we first awake in the morning, and feel sluggish, our body temperature can be as low as 97.0, and then, when we are worn out at day’s end, and require sleep because our thinking is all hot and bothered, our body temperature can be around 99.0. (Try testing your own body, with a thermometer, if you don’t believe me.)  In other words, our own body varies as much as twenty tenths of a degree in a given day, when we are perfectly healthy.  Yet we are suppose to get all worried because the heavenly body called “Earth” varies a few tenths of a degree over decades?

I include the second graph, (which Ryan Maue of WeatherBELL produced, using government data from spreadsheets which are unintelligible to most of us,) to show how the temperature of our home planet varies on a daily and even hourly basis, just as our own bodies do.  For example, last month temperatures crashed from four tenths of a degree above “normal” to nearly four tenths of a degree below “normal,” but have since rebounded to two tenths of a degree above “normal.” 

If you want to get political about such normal, natural, and absurdly trivial data, then you can behave like some Alarmists I’ve had contact with.  When the temperature spikes they adopt a peacock strut and told-you-so attitude, assuming they have proof Global Warming is real, and that we’re all doomed and our world is going to broil, however when the temperature plummets their pet theory goes down in flames, their shoulders slump, and they adopt a garlic face. (I can never figure out why they are so unhappy to see we’re not doomed and won’t broil.)

 The fact of the matter is that tenths of a degree don’t matter one hill of beans, (unless, of course, you are greedy for other people’s money, and hunger to invent a new “Carbon Tax” to pick their pockets with.) 

What matters much more than temperatures rising and falling a tiny amount, (an amount you can’t even notice on your back porch thermometer,) is: Real people living real lives.

This morning the forecast was for “a 20% chance of scattered snow showers,” but flakes fell thickly, riding cruel, cutting gusts from the northeast. In an hour the northeast side of every tree, fencepost, and structure was plastered with vivid white glue, as the other sides looked dark and thawed.  The whipping wind and sticky snow added insult to injury.  This time of year is hard enough to get through, without extras.

I had to hurry out to sweep and salt the front walk, so swiftly did the “snow shower” paint the world white, and I expected the parents and children arriving at my Childcare to be especially sour, however quite the opposite was true. 

Sometimes, when you add insult to injury, people laugh.  At times the absurdity of life causes people to stop taking things so seriously.

Or so I concluded, when parent after parent and child after child came down the walkway, through rotten weather, and entered my Childcare glowing, smiling, and making me laugh with their jokes.

I simply had to shake my head.  Spring may come late, in terms of statistics, and in terms of the white world I see out my window, but I have been warmed already by a Spring within the human spirit which I failed to forecast.

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